April 30th, 2008
|01:24 am - Ups and Downs|
Today was amazing. I woke up to (finally and at long last) having my comp copies of Dreams of the First Age, for Exalted. Gonzo transhumanist fantasy at its finest. I very rarely run games, and I'm tempted to run one using it. Also, I have a wonderful conversation with amberite last night and awoke this morning to an electronic copy of amberite's novel (which I had not seen before) in my email. Both DotFA and the novel were excellent. Then, I had an absolutely marvelous phone conversation with shadowmorphic, which very much made me happy and was fascinating and wonderful. After that, I spent some time with teaotter and made a very good fried tofu and sugar snap peas dish for dinner, followed by a delicious coconut-milk based banana pudding for dessert.
However, then Becca went to sleep, and after seeing Aaron and Daire yesterday, and conversations with Alice, Becca, and Jade, I'm feeling both alone and lonely. I was starting to feel this when Becca was going to bed, and she reminded me that (for the first time in my life) I occasionally needed time alone before Alice left for China. Alice gets back in a month + 3 days, which fills me with joy. It's very difficult when someone who is so much a part of my life is so far away and when most of the other people who are deeply important to me live all the way across the country. One of (several) reasons I am poly and wish to be an a long-term stable multiple partner relationship is that my social needs are quite high, and the somewhat increased amount of socializing I've been doing of late has vividly reminded me of that, in part because of the sadness I feel when I go from such interactions to solitude. When both Becca and Alice are around, I dearly love interacting with other people who are very close to me, but it's far less difficult and not particularly painful when I go from intensive interaction to even fairly brief periods of solitude. Until recently, I had not realized how much of a social interaction deficit I was running under.
Current Mood: sad
The running joke tends to be that I am too much for one person to handle.
But seriously, I know exactly what you mean. It might be the transition that is getting to you. Usually when I go from very solitary to social, there is a glittery/jittery (funny how similar those two words are) higher energy time period, before it settles at a more comfortable equilibrium.
Everything will be more comfortable on that front in about a month at 10 days I think ;)
Giant hugs your way.
|Date:||April 30th, 2008 07:19 pm (UTC)|| |
Thanks muchly my wonderful friend. Once Alice gets back, I'm certain things will stabilize fairly rapidly, especially since I'm certain Alice will be in seriously social mode, especially with Becca and I.
"she reminded me that (for the first time in my life) I occasionally needed time alone before Alice left for China."
Wow, you're the complete opposite of me. Although it's not entirely rare for me to desire to be in the company of a specific person, there have been hardly any moments in my life when I have ever desired company in general; i.e., there have been hardly any moments in my life where if the specific person or people whose company I desired at that moment were not available, I would have had any desire whatsoever to be in the company of anybody else instead. Being alone would virtually always be preferable.
I love and greatly prefer being around people, but am also exceptionally picky at who I am willing to be around, which is admittedly not the easiest way to be.
Yeah -- that happens to me, which is especially tough here.
"You could call up a local friend."
"Noooo. Loooonely. Want home people. Local friends not home people. Hmf."
having time to oneself is a good thing, but when a Drake is in the 'socialize' mode, we go all out. We want OUR people NOW, dammit! (Laugh) Believe me, I empathize. Since I've been out of work, I've had at times WAAAY too much time to spend with myself.
when a Drake is in the 'socialize' mode, we go all out. We want OUR people NOW, dammit! (Laugh)
You understand perfectly, but that's hardly surpising :)
It could be worse; we could have that canine and feline response to pee on everything that's ours.