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A hopeful story about dealing with gender - Synchronicity swirls and other foolishness

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November 9th, 2009


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01:58 pm - A hopeful story about dealing with gender
I'm joyfully childfree, but here's a story about raising a child that made me smile. Times are changing. The reaction of the child's parents was positive, but isolated incidents only do so much. However, the reaction of the other parents at the school and of many of the children was a joy to read. This is how culture changes - I'm very hopeful as to what it will look like in 10-15 years. This would not have happened when I was a child, and 20 years ago it would have gone far less well.
Current Mood: pleasedpleased

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Comments:


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From:krinndnz
Date:November 9th, 2009 10:13 pm (UTC)
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That is a pretty awesome story and I'm passing it around. Thanks for pointing it out!
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From:alobar
Date:November 9th, 2009 10:15 pm (UTC)
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Amazing! I could not imagine this ever happening in the 1950s without Sam getting the shit kicked out of him by the other kids.
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From:rhiannasilel
Date:November 9th, 2009 10:42 pm (UTC)
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As a parent that is really great to hear! One thing we struggle with with my son is him saying "That's for girls." about various objects. Rab and I both let him know that a toy is a toy and it's not for girls or boys and when the baby is born (I'm having a girl) she can play with whatever she wants to play with, including cars and trucks if that's what she wants and he can play with what he wants including dolls. I think (hope) he's starting to get the idea. Another thing we had to correct was him saying "I can't kiss boys." I told him, as nicely as possible, that he can kiss whomever he wants to kiss as long as he asks for permission first. He hasn't brought this up again so I think he gets the idea that it's okay if it's consensual.

A couple of weeks ago at my son's soccer practice, I saw a child (probably around 3 or 4) tell his father "I want to be a girl when I grow up." and both of his parents jumped on him and said "You can't be a girl when you grow up." At that moment, I really felt badly for him and wondered where his life is headed. There's no way to tell if this child is transgendered or not at this point. Kids like to engage in a lot of pretend play, but they also say things that are genuinely on their minds and things that they really do want for themselves and their future so it's hard to tell. I hope that if this child really does want to be a girl when he grows up that he gets the support that he needs to be a girl.
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From:innocent_man
Date:November 9th, 2009 10:45 pm (UTC)
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Interesting story.

I used to carry a baby doll to school when I was in first grade, periodically. I knew that when I did that, I would get screamed all the way to school on the bus and all the way back. Couldn't tell you why I still did it, about once every two months.

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From:shadowandstar
Date:November 10th, 2009 12:56 am (UTC)
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Wow! What a great story, and how wonderful that the adults at Sam's school are being supportive instead of calling his parents to tell him that he isn't allowed to wear "disruptive clothing."

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From:kitten_goddess
Date:November 10th, 2009 10:03 am (UTC)
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I'm glad the school is being supportive. However, I fear that the child may end up literally beaten black and blue by his peers in later years.
I hope his parents have other schooling options if his peers end up viciously beating him for wearing dresses. Children, particularly from the fifth grade on, can be incredibly violent.
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From:xuenay
Date:November 10th, 2009 06:21 pm (UTC)
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Awwwww.

That was wonderful.
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From:bodlon
Date:November 10th, 2009 06:57 pm (UTC)
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That article just completely made my day. I'm especially encouraged by the teachers' responses, because as I was reading I expected that to be the roadblock, and then it wasn't!

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